You gotta "Shake"

Here's the honest truth, adoption is an amazing blessing.  For us and for Chengbin.  It's also a long process of adjustment.  For us and Chengbin.

In the first few weeks and months we saw many orphanage behaviors and coping mechanisms.  Each one was heartbreaking, but thankfully, passed quickly as we taught him new ways to control his emotions.  Aside from his issue with crying rather than asking for help, we don't see many of them anymore....

So on Sunday as we were getting ready for church, he told me he couldn't find his tie.  I told him that I would help him look for it after I got ready, but of course, he was already a teary eyed mess as he gave me his little shrug that means "Why aren't you helping me now?".  I reassured him that I would help him as soon as I was ready for church and that he was welcome to go look for it some more while I got ready.  (You see, we are trying really hard to help him learn to work out minor issues on his own rather than feeding into the drama and tears.)

Well, I got done, opened the door to my bathroom and there he was... Still standing there waiting for me, tears in his eyes.  I got down on his level and once again went through the list of things to cry about and determined that not finding a tie isn't really on the list... I told him I was ready to help find it now that I was ready for church  and then we went to his room.  I pulled up a stool and began to search the top of his closet, figuring I had thrown it up there at some point when I found it on the floor in the living room or bathroom or who-knows-where. 

Then I heard "Ouch! Ouch!"

I looked down to find him performing another one of his orphanage behaviors.  Hurting himself.  He was twisting his pinky as far around as he could with the other hand, seriously trying to hurt himself. 

Of course, I stopped what I was doing, got down on his level and told him to stop hurting himself.  And then, he took it to the next level.

He threw himself back onto the floor, eyes backward, like he was going to pass out.

So what's a mom to do?  What would you do?  I chose to NOT feed into his drama.  I sat him in time out chair to calm down.  It took him a while, but once he was calm we had a conversation that went like this...

Me:  Chengbin, you don't have to hurt yourself anymore or throw yourself onto the floor to get someone's attention.  We love you.  Mommy loves you.  Daddy loves you.  Sissy loves you.  You have a family now.  So you can stop doing the things you did in the orphanage.  You don't need those anymore.  Don't hurt yourself.  Mommy and Daddy and Sissy will always be there for you and we will help you.  Sometimes you have to wait a few minutes, but we WILL ALWAYS help you.  Do you understand?

CB: nods his head

Me: You have a new life with us.  We all love you.  It's time to stop doing the things you did in Longgang to survive and act the way Jesus wants you to act.  Jesus doesn't want you to hurt yourself or to throw yourself on the ground to get attention. 

CB: ok

Me:  We love you buddy.  Please stop doing things like that.  Why don't we smile and go "shake"???

CB: Okay!!!

And then Mercy Me's song came on (his favorite song), but suddenly it had all new meaning!!

I just can't believe
where my life was at
all that I know is my heart was broke
and I don't ever wanna go back

Ain't no explanation
How I saw the light
He found me and set me free
And it brought me back to life

Blame it on the transformation
Changed down to the core
His love is real
And I can't sit still
Cuz my name's not shamed no more

Great God Almighty, gonna change this
Great God Almighty, He gonna change me

You gotta shake, shake, shake
Like you're changed, changed, changed
Brand new looks so good on you
So shake like you've been changed

Thank God for the blessing of Chengbin and the blessing Chengbin received of a family!!

Adoption is truly redemption.

Thanks for stopping by,
Fannie

Today an Orphan Died in China

This is a hard post for me to write, but its a post that must be written. 

Today an orphan died in China. 

He was a beautiful, precious little boy who had his whole life ahead of him.  He was living with a foster family.  He was receiving monthly transfusions thanks to the amazing group of thal moms I call friends here in the states.  His paperwork was being prepared for adoption.  Unfortunately, any illness can have a significant effect on the severity of his thalassemia.  When an illness that caused diarrhea swept through the orphanage the last week, it was too much for his little body to handle. He passed from this life into the arms of Jesus.

My heart is heavy again today.  I will never be able to hear of an orphan dying without being overcome by sadness.  This isn't the first thal child who has died...

This sweet girl mattered too.  She deserved a family.  She deserved to get the best doctors coming to her aid.  But she lost her fight and passed into the arms of Jesus too.

I've often been asked "Why not adopt from foster care?"  I've been told that there are so many kids here in the US and we should "take care of our own" before we help the world.  I'm not going to argue these questions or points at all. 

I simply believe that children matter.  ALL children matter.  ALL children deserve to have the love of a family.  Someone to kiss their boo boos.  Someone to hug them and tell them they can do anything.  ALL children deserve to have food on the table.  ALL children should have the opportunity to get an education.  ALL children deserve to get the medical care they need to get better.

Today an orphan died in Yulin, Guangxi, China. 

And so did others... In China.  In Russia.  In Ukraine.  In Ethiopia.  In India.  In Uganda.  In Honduras.  In so many orphanages around the world these precious children, who have already experienced unimaginable loss, continue the fight of their lives.

An estimated 143 million orphans can be found in countries worldwide. 

I believe that all of us have a responsibility to these children.  God calls ALL of us to help. 

Pray for ONE.  If you need a picture, a story, and a name.  I know plenty of them.  Make one child your priority to pray for every day while they wait for a forever family to take over those prayers.

Sponsor ONE.  Amazing agencies are doing amazing work in countries worldwide.  They are making a difference everyday in the lives of children throughout the world.  I would be happy to point you in the direction of some that I know.

Foster ONE.  If you are one of those who has a heart for America's children, I encourage you to reach out to your local social services and find out what it takes to become a foster parent.

Support ONE.  At this moment, I know of at least twenty families who felt God's call to adopt a child, even though they didn't have enough in their bank accounts to cover an adoption, and took that step out to help care for ONE.  I'd be happy to show you families that you could support.

Adopt ONE.  If you think you might be willing to bring a precious orphan into their forever, please email me. MEPSCOASTIE@YAHOO.COM.  I will be happy to lead you to the agency and program that's right for you.

I pray that this message reaches you all.  I pray that a precious little boy's death will be the catalyst for something good to happen.  Today an orphan died in China, but I pray with all my heart that others won't have to.


"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.
Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy."  Prov 31: 8-9


"Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me."  Matt 18:5

Thanks for stopping by,
Fannie

Chinese New Year!!

Happy Year of the Horse!!  We celebrated Chengbin's first Chinese New Year with his forever family in typical adoptive family fashion!  We started with a photo shoot in the kids China silks...

 

Then we took a trip to the Asian Food Market.  (We will NOT be going back to that one, it was in a really, really unsafe neighborhood with drug lookouts posted on corners... LOL!!)

 

We ate decorated and ate Chinese food!!

 

And we "tried" to make fortune cookies (yes, we know they are not really Chinese) with their toy fortune cookie maker!!  Results were less than pleasing...

 

Looking forward to having a big party next year!  This year I had just gotten home from a Coast Guard school and Chengbin had surgery scheduled a couple days later.   The kids enjoyed themselves and Chengbin had a special day.  That's all that really counts!

Happy Chinese New Year!!
Fannie, Matt, Kate, & Chengbin

From Orphan to Superheroes!!!!

 

It started with his cousin's love of all things Batman, Captain America, Hulk, & Ironman...
Then Gymboree released a special "hero" line of clothes and a trio of superheroes was born!!!

 

Meet "Lightning"

"Shocker"

 

 

and "Flash"

 

 



A hard working superhero trio ready to take on the world!!

 

Yep, their cousin Little Donald, has made his mark!  I love my cute superheroes!!  We are missing their cousin already! :)

From Orphan to Superhero- that's the story in the Wilks house.  It's a great story...

Thanks for stopping by!
Fannie, Matt, Shocker, & Lightning