365 Days with Laila

Today is a big day!  Today is the one year anniversary of Laila's "gotcha" day in Nanning, China.  This time last year our sweet girl was having one of the worst days of her life.  She was torn from everything she'd ever known and she was NOT happy about it.  She refused to go to me (she's a stubborn girl for sure) and eventually her Nanny just had to walk away and I was told to pick her up.  She SCREAMED.  A LOT.  Our sweet little girl was downright terrified.  And who could blame her?  Adoption is the best response we can give to little lives that have been filled with far too much loss, but at the onset, adoption is one more difficult thing for a child to go through.

 

Thankfully, "Gotcha" Day is not just the end of one story, but it is where the story of redemption begins.  I'll tell ya honestly guys, redemption isn't an easy story.  It is sad, sometimes heartbreaking.  There are tears from the scared child and from the heartbroken new parents as they watch their new child process another loss.  It is hard.  Sometimes really hard. There's rejection.  There's trauma.  There's far too much to explain in a simple blog post.

 

During the days after Gotcha we were in survival mode.  She would hardly sleep.  She would cry for her nanny at the top of her lungs, pointing to the door and to the window and yelling "Agea"!!!!  She had sores ALL OVER her arms and legs.  Her belly was distended and hard.  I remember undressing her, putting her in the bathtub, and praying to God that she would be okay.  She was sick, she was broken-hearted, and we were all in survival mode.  Just get through this bath.  Just get through this night.  Just get through this day...

 

Thankfully, by God's grace with each passing day a little more healing took place.  Her emotional scars began to heal.  Her physical scars began to heal.  Our family came together and settled in for the long haul.  Her attachment was harder than Chengbin's had been.  She just needed more time.  In China she didn't like Mommy.  Once home she wasn't so sure about Daddy.  Thankfully her "Half the Sky" book that the orphanage gave us had documented every bit of her life that she'd spent in the orphanage and provided us tremendous insight.

 

This sweet girl barely crawled at 16 months old.  She didn't walk until she was 22 months old.  Every 6 months in the orphanage, her one-on-one caregiver changed and she grieved that loss.  No wonder her attachment was so difficult- she had spent her life up until this point extremely sick, extremely tired, and with caregivers that kept changing right as she would build her attachment.

 

 So not surprisingly, it was more than 6 months before she really began to build attachment to all members of our family.  After the 6th or 7th month she finally began to see that this just might be different.  That we just might be her forever.

 

We have been so blessed.  God really has given us a front row seat to witness a miracle.  That's what she is- a miracle.

 

Sweet Laila Jean is a happy, healthy four year old! 

She's funny and so, so sassy!! (But don't tell her cause she'll insist that she is NOT SASSY! ssshhhhh) 

 She loves to play with "Sissy and Chengbin".

She constantly asks "I sleep with Mommy at Disneyworld??"

 

 

We just love this little firecracker of a girl so much!!!! 

 

 

We can't wait to see the plans God has for this girl!!!  It seemed only fitting that she wear the special shirt that so many friends and strangers bought to help bring her home on this special day.  We let her balloons go and said a prayer that somewhere her birth Mama & Baba will receive a peace in their hearts that only God can give them.

 

365 days with Laila.

Thank you ALL for supporting us along the way.  For praying for us.  For helping us bring her home.  For loving this little girl from afar and then welcoming her into her new family, new church, new school, and new life!

 

Laila Jean, you have been one of the most amazing blessings of our life.  We are so lucky to be your family.  I am so lucky to be your Mommy.  Always remember, God really does have more in store for you than you can ask or imagine.  And we will be sitting on the front row to watch it all unfold!!

Day Three: Laila Day!!

We arrived in Nanning after another flight delay- this one was over 2 hours and got into our hotel just in time to go to bed.


So Monday morning before heading to the Civil Affairs office to get Laila, Matt & I decided to go get a little “area fam” as we call it.  We found the important things- toys/baby supply store & a great coffee shop.  We grabbed a couple things that Laila might be into, spent an hr or so of relaxing at the coffee shop, then headed back to get things ready to pick up Laila.

We headed over to the office where we would get her, and to be honest, we were a little more nervous than last year without Katelynn there to just be a kid.  Kids are always less threatening than grown ups! Haha!  Either way, it was time, so we went into the office, filled out paperwork, and waited for Laila to arrive.

This week only 3 families were picking up their children.  Not sure if this is just due to the National Holiday in China and lack of consulate appts or not…

Finally we saw her walk into the child playroom with her Nanny.  We gathered our cameras quickly and it was time to sign papers & get our girl.

She was EXTREMELY unsure about us.  Nothing made her wanna play with us- not bubbles, not my little ponys, not even a sucker.  Our stubborn little one stood there completely unwilling to be friends with her new Mama & Baba.  So it came time to just grab her up & hope for the best.  Mama picked her up and she SCREAMED.  And SCREAMED.  And CRIED.  And tried to push that Mama away.  Poor Baby, who could blame her???  But after Mama was the bad guy who took her away and wouldn’t let her go, she suddenly decided that Baba must be better than Mama.  So she put her hands out for Baba and immediately started to calm down as he grabbed her up.

We headed back to the hotel to settle in and try to help our girl adjust to her new parents.  She continued to take comfort in Baba, though another fit and tears occurred as our guide went to leave the room.  After a few hours we decided to take her down for some dinner.  It was risky, but we thought the change of pace & familiar food might help her.  We’d been told by the orphanage staff that she loves to eat meat, so it was worth a shot.

We went down, sat her in her chair,  and as she looked around at all the people eating she starting dancing in her chair.  She was excited about this!!  We even saw a glimpse of a smile…

Back at the room she finally asked for Mommy & I was more than happy to rock her to sleep.  SO THANKFUL God sent us here to bring home this precious little peanut.  And as she woke us up every couple hours crying & screaming as she'd wake up in our bed and realize where she was, I found myself even more grateful that she didn't have to wait another minute or day in her temporary home.  That she was here in our arms, and while her adjustment will be difficult and has been traumatic, she is now with her forever family.  She doesn't have to worry about when her whole life will change again- at three years old she finally has the gift of a forever family!!

Please continue to pray for our sweet girl.  As much as her orphanage's Half the Sky program is a tremendous blessing, it is also what makes the transition difficult.  She had a grandma who came & played and cared for her every day.  She loved that special lady very much.  This means she knows how to bond and attach to us, but it also means she grieves the sudden loss of her grandma.  We sent her a photo album back in early April, but we found out that she never received it.  She wasn't prepared for us the way we had hoped she had been.  So keep your prayers coming for our sweet little one.

Thanks for stopping by!

Fannie, Matt, & Laila