Her Glorious Unfolding

During Laila's adoption I had Steven Curtis Chapman's album "Glorious Unfolding" on repeat.  So many songs on it spoke directly to my heart as I walked in faith during that time.  Perhaps no song held more promise to me than the title song. 

During the hard times as I worried about funding the words of encouragement in that song soothed my worried heart.  As I worried about my little daughter and her state of health in the orphanage, the words were like a promise.

And right as things were getting really close to travel, his organization, Show Hope came through with a $4000 grant for our adoption!

And a couple weeks ago, we got to pay it forward and say "Thank You".  We volunteered to help with Show Hope's booth at the Steven Curtis Chapman concert in Pensacola.  It was so fun to be able to share our story!! It was so awesome to see my little Laila, taking sponsorship packets for kids in Show Hope's healing homes in China to people who raised their hand.  My own little miracle right there, showing people what can happen when we step out in faith... When we take another step...

And after the concert, this happened...

My sweet little miracle girl, who was dying.  Who was without hope.  Who was misdiagnosed.  Who wasn't walking, wasn't growing, wasn't talking only 2 years ago... She walked right up to Steven Curtis Chapman and told him "Thank you for helping me come home from China."  We shared that we'd received a grant through Show Hope and how grateful we were for the support.  In the craziness of that moment, I never even got a chance to tell him how much that album had ministered to me during her adoption too. But that's okay!  Because our whole family, who had been walked to the front of the long VIP ticket line (even though we didn't purchase a ticket- adoption budget and all) didn't want to take up too much of his time with so many people waiting!!  It was also awesome to meet Mac Powell of Third Day who has also adopted from China and Brandon Heath who is bound to start considering it with all of these crazy adoptive family stories around him. :)


And her story has only begun...  What a blessing!!!  And Chengbin has been singing "Soul on Fire" for weeks now!!! Haha!!

365 Days with Laila

Today is a big day!  Today is the one year anniversary of Laila's "gotcha" day in Nanning, China.  This time last year our sweet girl was having one of the worst days of her life.  She was torn from everything she'd ever known and she was NOT happy about it.  She refused to go to me (she's a stubborn girl for sure) and eventually her Nanny just had to walk away and I was told to pick her up.  She SCREAMED.  A LOT.  Our sweet little girl was downright terrified.  And who could blame her?  Adoption is the best response we can give to little lives that have been filled with far too much loss, but at the onset, adoption is one more difficult thing for a child to go through.

 

Thankfully, "Gotcha" Day is not just the end of one story, but it is where the story of redemption begins.  I'll tell ya honestly guys, redemption isn't an easy story.  It is sad, sometimes heartbreaking.  There are tears from the scared child and from the heartbroken new parents as they watch their new child process another loss.  It is hard.  Sometimes really hard. There's rejection.  There's trauma.  There's far too much to explain in a simple blog post.

 

During the days after Gotcha we were in survival mode.  She would hardly sleep.  She would cry for her nanny at the top of her lungs, pointing to the door and to the window and yelling "Agea"!!!!  She had sores ALL OVER her arms and legs.  Her belly was distended and hard.  I remember undressing her, putting her in the bathtub, and praying to God that she would be okay.  She was sick, she was broken-hearted, and we were all in survival mode.  Just get through this bath.  Just get through this night.  Just get through this day...

 

Thankfully, by God's grace with each passing day a little more healing took place.  Her emotional scars began to heal.  Her physical scars began to heal.  Our family came together and settled in for the long haul.  Her attachment was harder than Chengbin's had been.  She just needed more time.  In China she didn't like Mommy.  Once home she wasn't so sure about Daddy.  Thankfully her "Half the Sky" book that the orphanage gave us had documented every bit of her life that she'd spent in the orphanage and provided us tremendous insight.

 

This sweet girl barely crawled at 16 months old.  She didn't walk until she was 22 months old.  Every 6 months in the orphanage, her one-on-one caregiver changed and she grieved that loss.  No wonder her attachment was so difficult- she had spent her life up until this point extremely sick, extremely tired, and with caregivers that kept changing right as she would build her attachment.

 

 So not surprisingly, it was more than 6 months before she really began to build attachment to all members of our family.  After the 6th or 7th month she finally began to see that this just might be different.  That we just might be her forever.

 

We have been so blessed.  God really has given us a front row seat to witness a miracle.  That's what she is- a miracle.

 

Sweet Laila Jean is a happy, healthy four year old! 

She's funny and so, so sassy!! (But don't tell her cause she'll insist that she is NOT SASSY! ssshhhhh) 

 She loves to play with "Sissy and Chengbin".

She constantly asks "I sleep with Mommy at Disneyworld??"

 

 

We just love this little firecracker of a girl so much!!!! 

 

 

We can't wait to see the plans God has for this girl!!!  It seemed only fitting that she wear the special shirt that so many friends and strangers bought to help bring her home on this special day.  We let her balloons go and said a prayer that somewhere her birth Mama & Baba will receive a peace in their hearts that only God can give them.

 

365 days with Laila.

Thank you ALL for supporting us along the way.  For praying for us.  For helping us bring her home.  For loving this little girl from afar and then welcoming her into her new family, new church, new school, and new life!

 

Laila Jean, you have been one of the most amazing blessings of our life.  We are so lucky to be your family.  I am so lucky to be your Mommy.  Always remember, God really does have more in store for you than you can ask or imagine.  And we will be sitting on the front row to watch it all unfold!!

First Day of School!

Well, the summer came and went SO fast I still can't believe it's over!!

The kids started school in mid-August and we are adjusted and back to learning!

Kate- 5th Grade

Chengbin- 1st Grade

Laila- Pre-k4

I am still shocked at how much has changed in Laila in less than a year!! She started out daycare in the 1 year old class and it was correct for her developmentally.  For her to walk in to a prek4 classroom only 10 months later is a miracle!!! God is doing miracles in her life and the view from the front row is magnificent!!

And ever since that first day of school I've been asked every, single day...

'Mama, can I go bus with Sissy & Chengbin??'

Soon little one- soon!!

He writes the best stories doesn't he???

Celebrating America's Birthday

Happy 4th of July!!!

We are so unbelievably lucky to live in this country and to have the freedoms we have.  I spent so much of today filled with gratitude to God for allowing me to be born in the USA.  We pray that we take full advantage of all the opportunities he has given our family as Americans to make an impact on our country and the world.  We pray that God continues to lead our family to use our talents & our many blessings to bless others.

These kids had a blast!!!

It was his second 4th of July as an American & the first one where he could really understand why we were celebrating America's Birthday!  He was so proud to be able to recite the pledge of allegiance and that he could talk about George Washington with me! So cute talking to this boy about how our country is so different from others and explaining how important the freedoms we have are.

And this little cutie had no idea what Independence Day is, but she was more than happy to get in on the birthday party festivities for America! (You know- whoever that is! ;)  I still can't get over the difference in less than a year!!  She has grown SO much!!! She loved picking out her outfit and listening to her sissy explain what would happen once it was dark on this awesome day!

And THIS is how we celebrated!!! We bought a ton of fireworks and had so much fun just setting them off with the kids.  We still have snakes, ground flowers, smoke balls, & sparklers left over for another day!! :) 

Our 4th of July was awesome! We miss being back home with our family, but we definitely made the best of it!!

Happy Independence Day America!!

Thanks for stopping by!

The Wilks Family 

Reflections at 9 Months of Forever

Lately I've been noticing something peculiar... It seems like we have actually begun to transition into a new kind of normal.

All of us have really.  Laila, in particular, seems to be really finding her groove.  She's feeling more and more secure in her life here with her new family.  Today marks 9 months of forever and there is just something different lately.  

 

She just seems to have more joy.

The days of multiple tantrums have slowed to a tantrum each day and then every couple days until they have slowly but surely gone away almost altogether.

I don't even know when it stopped.  Just realized recently, as I reflected on life and where each of my kiddos is at in their journey that we seem to be without the once daily fits.

Look, I'm not saying that she never throws fits now.  She does- but they aren't the same.  They aren't based in fear and need for security and control.  They are normal ones.  Toddler like.  And that's a great kind of normal.

We transitioned the kids into new bedroom set ups.

 

We've celebrated straight a's.

Celebrated the end of school with a road trip and trip to Disney.

Embraced the summer- complete w trips to the sprayer park and swim lessons.

And welcomed my sister and nephew to the house for the summer as she spends time w the kiddos!

And somewhere in the middle of all this things just started feeling 'normal'!!

 

Yep, our new normal has arrived at 9 months home.

 

And we are blessed to be there!!

 

Laila's First Four Months

 

Yesterday we celebrated four months of forever with Laila.  On 9/22 this little baby girl toddled into the room at the civil affairs office in Nanning and proceeded to show us how unwilling she was to be friends!!  She grieved SO hard in those first few weeks in China.  And while I knew that it would get better, I'd be lying if I didn't say it was still difficult.  Very difficult.

 

 

This little daughter of ours was so much like a one year old baby in spite of her chronological age of 3 1/2 years old.  She didn't feed herself.  She didn't dress herself.  She could barely walk.  She certainly couldn't run or jump. She didn't talk. She'd spent her whole life so far struggling to survive.  We knew we had a long road ahead of us with this little girl. 

 

Once we got home, she started feeling more secure.  She started trying to feed herself bites of her food.  She started sitting in her own seat at the table rather than on Mommy or Daddy's laps as she was spoon fed part of our dinner.  And she made great physical progress, learning to walk steadily and even run as she chased after that new big brother and big sister!!

 

 

 

And now here we are with four whole months of forever in the books...

 

She is now talking!!  Yes, talking!!!  And not just one word here or there, but actual short sentences.

 

"Let me see."  "Give me that."  "Mommy I hungry."  "I want water."  "Baby needs go sleepy."  and my favorite one of all..

 "I wan go go home."

 

She knows where her home is and cheers every single day when we pull back into the driveway after daycare!

She can undress herself & get dressed again all by herself!!  (though admittedly, buttons are still a wee bit tricky;)

 

She's also jumping!  And climbing!  She can climb up the rock wall of the playground outside all by herself!! 

 

She's almost completely potty trained!  We've had many days with no accidents all day long! :)

 

She's getting all the medical care she needs.  Her transfusions are giving her energy she has never had before!!  And all that great blood & good nutrition has caused another amazing thing...

She's growing!!  Over 2 inches in her first 3 months home!!

 

This adorable girl is very quickly progressing in so many ways!!

I'll be honest though... It's been tough.  Parenting a toddler is tricky already, but parenting a toddler with food issues, security issues, and developmental delays is even harder and more stressful than it was for a bio kid.  There are times when she screams and screams and screams and screams in ways that are beyond normal toddler tantrums.

Daycare transition was extremely difficult and so many times I felt like a horrible mother, leaving her there when I could hear her screams outside of the building.  I praise God everyday that she's gained the confidence and security to know now that "Mama always comes back."

And I still feel a little heartbroken when I see a "real" 3-4 year old walking around talking to their mama in Target and look at my sweet girl who has SO MUCH catching up to do.

But she IS making huge strides!!  Strides that are celebrated by every member of our family!!
Adoption is a beautiful thing to live.  We get to witness big & small miracles every day with this girl.  We get to see her learn to trust, learn to share, learn to listen to rules, learn to calm herself down, learn to accept love from siblings, and witness "first" after "first".

She is a little miracle and we love her so much!!

Once again, thank you to so many people who helped get Laila home!!!  We love you all and are forever grateful that you said "yes" to helping this sweet girl come home. :)

Thanks for stopping by,
Fannie, Matt, Kate, Chengbin, & Miss Laila

Two for Transfusions please! Thal treatment for two- An Update.

Last year I posted some great in-depth blog posts about Chengbin's thal treatment:

Port Surgery:
http://crazylifeofthewilksfamily.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-next-step-port-surgery-today.html
http://crazylifeofthewilksfamily.blogspot.com/2013/10/port-placement-transfusion-update.html

Transfusion Days & General Thal Information:
http://crazylifeofthewilksfamily.blogspot.com/2013/11/all-about-thalassemia.html

Medication:
http://crazylifeofthewilksfamily.blogspot.com/2013/11/exjade-finally-arrived.html

& Trips to the Thal Center in Atlanta:
http://crazylifeofthewilksfamily.blogspot.com/2014/06/doctors-animals.html

Since then I've been SO glad to receive A LOT of inquiries about life with thalassemia, kids available for adoption, sorting out insurance coverage, reviewing files to help families considering these kids, etc.  It has been AWESOME!!!  I seriously LOVE helping families find the child meant to take their last name and find their forever family.  And I LOVE thal kids!  Seriously, there's a deep love for these kids.  They are amazing, wonderful kids who have such a bright future ahead of them with proper treatment.  And sadly, such dire circumstances and a deadly fate await them without proper treatment.  My two thal kiddos are such an incredible blessing and so many kiddos are still waiting to bless the families they will be adopted into.  So it's about time I tell ya'll what thal treatment is looking like for TWO! 

We've done transfusions for them separately a few times and now together twice.  Here's the breakdown of our latest trip to the Infusion Center on Friday and how it all works now that we have two of them.

7am- Leave the house for Nemours.  It's about an hour away, plus this Mama needs Starbucks for sure before a day in the transfusion bay with two!  Before leaving the house we put on our lidocaine cream.  Chengbin gets it on his port, while Laila gets hers on both hands since we won't know til it's time, which hand is looking better for the IV start.

7am-8am Messy lidocaine gets ALL over Laila!  She manages to move the press & seal that is covering her lidocaine, so before we know it, her doll is covered in lidocaine, her toy cup has some on it, and she's wiped some in her hair, on her forehead, and on her clothes just for good measure! ;) 

8:10am We arrive and are brought back right away to access the kids and send their bloodwork off to the lab.  Some thal families bring their kids in a few days before to get their bloodwork for transfusion day, but given our distance from the hospital, we do it all in the same day. 

 

 

Chengbin gets his port "accessed" and then it gets sealed up and covered so he can play & be a kid while we wait for the transfusion.  This usually goes very smoothly, though every so often it'll be a rough access day.  This one actually was rough, but he is such an amazingly resilient little guy who just does his best to move on and be happy, no matter the circumstances. 

Laila just received a port this week.  Before receiving the port, the nurses decide which hand is looking best, warm it up, and then attempt to place an IV into her hand.  This didn't usually go well for Chengbin before he had a port, but Laila has had so few transfusions that so far the nurses haven't had much trouble getting her IV line in.  Thank God for this!  They then put her hand on a board and tape it all up so that she can play and not worry about knocking out the line.  I have no pics of her getting her IV line because she sits on my lap eating cool ranch doritos with one hand while they try to put a line in the other hand. ;)  I will say that she is an amazingly brave girl who is very patient and doesn't even flinch- as long as she can watch them do it & eat her snack at the same time.

We visit the hematologist and then wait for blood to arrive from the blood bank.  On this particular day we decided to go grab some food before the blood arrived.

At 10:45 our blood arrived and both kiddos were started up by 11:10.

Some playtime, okay- a LOT of playtime...  (Thank the Lord for Child Life workers & hospital volunteers who help to entertain these kiddos while we wait for blood to drip!! Haha)  Multiple trips to the potty... A couple snacks later and...

 

(This is the "Mama- help me get to potty" look!! Haha!!)

3 hours later they were all fueled up and ready to go!!

This was a best case scenario day!  We were out of the infusion bay and on our way home before 2:30!!  But even on our rougher days when the hospital backs up the blood bank and we wait longer for blood we are usually out by 3:30.

Another hour long drive back to the house and we were all set for another 3 weeks! :)

So that's what transfusions for two looks like right now.  As they get older, the transfusions will get longer.  They may not always be on the same schedule.  And when those days come, we will adjust as any family would.  But I am SO GLAD to have these two sweet blessings.  I am SO GLAD God brought them to our family!!  And I hope that this information will help other families who are considering whether or not they could handle a transfusion dependent thal kiddo.

We are SO blessed!  Email me with any questions at mepscoastie@yahoo.com.

Thanks for Stopping by,
Fannie, Matt, & the Kiddos